Your Child’s Developmental Milestones
Every parent or caregiver wants their child to grow, thrive, and take pride in their accomplishments. One of the most empowering ways to support your child’s independence and ongoing development is by helping them learn self-help skills. From learning to brush their teeth to dressing independently, let’s explore how you can offer encouragement and support your child’s unique path toward independence.
Self-help skills, often called self-care skills or daily living skills, are the things we do every day to take care of ourselves. Examples of self-help skills include eating and drinking, personal hygiene, sleeping, and getting dressed. While our daily routines may change as we get older, many of these basic skills are learned during early childhood.
While every child has their own unique pace, there are some key self-help milestones that parents and caregivers should know. These skills don’t just help your child become more independent — they also support fine motor development, cognitive growth, and social-emotional confidence. Let’s explore some key self-help milestones. Use these as a baseline when considering your child’s ongoing development.
Between 0-3 months
Between 6-9 months
Between 3-6 months
Between 9-12 months
Between 12-18 months
Between 18-24 months
Between 2-3 years
Between 3-4 years
Between 4-5 years
Remember, these skills come at different times for every child. Focus on progress, not perfection. Here’s how you can make learning these everyday tasks easy and fun!
Break Down the Steps
The more specific you can get when teaching these daily skills, the better. Let them master one small step at a time. For example, instead of saying “get dressed,” start with “pull your pants up.” Even at a young age, before they are trying things on their own, you can vocalize each step of the process as you do it to help them learn.
Make It Fun
Turning boring or challenging daily tasks into a game or adventure can help engage children who may be hesitant. For example, colorful socks or a shirt with their favorite character on it can make getting dressed more exciting. Music, timers, and rewards are also great options that kids love.
Offer Choices
Kids learn independence and self-confidence through making their own choices. When the stakes are low, give them autonomy over their body and actions. For example, you can let them choose between a few healthy snack options or what shoes they want to wear for the day.
Set Routines
Repetition and consistency are key to helping kids learn. When self-help tasks are part of a predictable routine, kids get the opportunity to practice and feel more in control of their day. For example, you may face less resistance to brushing teeth when it’s always done after bath and before a bedtime story because your little one knows its coming.
Include Them In Your Daily Tasks
Kids love watching and learning from their parents and loved ones. Look for age-appropriate ways to include them in your daily tasks, such as cooking or cleaning. Learning these skills from an early age helps increase independence and confidence later on.
“Every family and kid is different. Coming up with what works for you and sticking with it is so important.”
Kate Easton,
Birth-to-Three Trainer at Penfield Children’s Center
Early Intervention Services
If you’re concerned that your child is struggling with self-help skills, missing milestones, or avoiding tasks, early support can make a big difference. Remember that you’re not alone, and every child develops at their own pace.
Talk to Your Pediatrician
You are your child’s best advocate, so be sure to discuss your daily routines and self-help skills with your child’s doctor. They may offer some suggestions to support independence and self-confidence or recommend additional early intervention services if necessary.
Get a Referral & Evaluation
Your pediatrician may refer you to an early intervention specialist or team who can evaluate your child’s overall development. These specialists might include physical therapists or occupational therapists if there are physical challenges that are impacting independence and self-care.
Create a Plan
After evaluation, the specialists will work with you to create a personalized intervention plan designed to help your child meet their full potential. In many cases, treatment consists of a collaborative approach with therapy, at-home techniques, and your child’s daycare teachers or other caregivers.
Learning self-help skills takes time, patience, and a lot of love — and you’ve got plenty of that. Plus, you’ve got us in your corner!
Whether you’re just curious about whether your child is on track or you’re looking to start early intervention services, Penfield offers a variety of online resources for parents and caregivers, as well as on-site support for those in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area.
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