Your Child’s Developmental Milestones
From laughter to tears, your little one’s social emotional development is key to helping them feel safe, connect with others, and become more independent. However, managing and controlling emotions isn’t something kids intuitively know how to do (hence those meltdowns in the middle of the grocery store). Let’s explore what social emotional development is and how you can help little ones manage all those big feelings.
Rebecca Folkman
Service Coordinator at Penfield Children’s Center
Social and emotional development is how kids understand and manage emotions and navigate social situations and relationships. Some social emotional development examples include recognizing different emotions, expressing those feelings in a healthy way, and forming secure relationships with their caregivers and peers.
Let’s explore some normal social emotional milestones and key stages of development. Keep in mind that every child is unique, but understanding these milestones is a good way to understand your child’s needs and get additional support if needed. Social emotional development may also align with cognitive development, self-help skills, and other key areas of early childhood development, so it’s important to take a holistic approach.
Between 0-2 months
Between 4-6 months
Between 9-12 months
Between 2-4 months
Between 6-9 months
Between 12-15 months
Between 18-24 months
Between 15-18 months
Between 2-3 years
Between 3-4 years
Between 4-5 years
When it comes to your child’s social emotional development, the small moments matter. Parenting is tough, especially when dealing with meltdowns or difficult conversations. Simple, loving actions will help your child learn to name and regulate emotions and engage with others effectively.
Regulate Yourself
As tough as it is, it’s important to keep yourself regulated when your child is dysregulated. Modeling emotional regulations and appropriate behaviors is key to teaching your kids. Take a few deep breaths, use kind words and even vocal tones, and step away if needed. And remember, as parents, we all mess up, so acknowledge mistakes and apologize when necessary, too.
Set Clear Boundaries & Expectations
Inappropriate or dysregulated behaviors occur more often when there are no clear boundaries in place. Set boundaries and expectations ahead of time, rather than in the heat of the moment when emotions are already heightened. And once those boundaries are communicated, stay consistent time after time to build understanding.
Offer Choices
Kids learn independence and social skills through various choices. When the stakes are low, give them autonomy over their body and actions. For example, you can let them choose what shoes to wear. Or if they resist getting ready for bed, let them choose whether to take a bath or brush their teeth first.
Name Emotions
It’s important to discuss and put names to emotions to help your child better articulate and communicate their feelings. You can do this by sharing your own feelings and helping them navigate their own feelings during different situations. Examples include things like, “I understand you are frustrated, but we can’t have ice cream before dinner” or “I am feeling very tired after our busy day today.”
Develop Strong Bonds Early
Your baby’s early relationships are powerful. Put a strong focus on relationship with your child, especially during the 0-2 age range. Responding to their cues, such as soothing, holding, singing, and talking to your baby, serve as the foundation of social emotional health.
“I talk a lot with families about viewing behaviors as communication. They’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time. It’s not personal — even though sometimes it feels personal.”
Katie Ambrosio, ECSE,
Birth to Three Special Education Teacher at Penfield Children’s Center
Early Intervention Services
Every child learns and grows at their own pace. However, if you notice your child has trouble connecting with others, handling change, or expressing emotions in a healthy way, it might be time to take a closer look. Early intervention services can be key to helping your child learn to regulate and confidently express their feelings.
Talk to Your Pediatrician
You are your child’s best advocate, so be sure to discuss behaviors and social skills with your doctor if you’re concerned. They may offer some suggestions to boost social emotional skills or direct you to additional early intervention services, or recommend a full evaluation.
Get a Referral & Evaluation
Your pediatrician may refer you to an early intervention specialist or team who can evaluate your child’s overall development. These specialists might include psychologists and occupational therapists. Oftentimes, specialists will work directly with parents and offer coaching to improve emotional regulation.
Create a Plan
After evaluation, the specialists will work with you to create a personalized intervention plan designed to help your child meet their full potential. In many cases, treatment consists of a collaborative approach with therapy, at-home techniques, and your child’s daycare teachers or other caregivers.
“Usually, a parent can differentiate whether their child is being stubborn or whether they’re just not understanding. When you’ve really been consistent and you feel like you’re having to teach the same thing over and over and over again, it may be time for some additional support.”
Kate Easton, Birth-to-Three Trainer at Penfield Children’s Center
Parenting a young child, especially one with unique needs or social emotional challenges, can be joyful, challenging, overwhelming, and deeply rewarding. We’re here to help you feel confident, informed, and supported as you help your child grow.
Whether you’re just curious about whether your child is on track or you’re looking to start early intervention services, Penfield offers a variety of online resources for parents and caregivers, as well as on-site support for those in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area.
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